yesterdays list

yogurt:100 cal
hot dog with bun: 25o? cal
gym:-400 cal
total: -50 cal
i dropped 2.6 pounds yesterday, i know its mostly water weight but still. so exciting! encouraging!

Lets see how i do today
yikes



some pretty pictures:

Alyssah Ali

A gorgeous IMG model from Trinidad heritage.

5'10'' with a 22.5'' waist

Almudena

Another IMG model

The definition of sex

5'8'' with a 23'' waist

last night with my boy i cried because i love him so much.
we always talk about quitting college and moving to arizona next year
he'll open a skate shop
we'll get married and have beautiful half asian babies and be the happiest people alive

hes knows me better than i know me
he knows when im feeling unattractive and he wants to figure out why im so hard on myself and help make me better and happy
he makes me happy.
im so in love.


unfortunately im still fat too.
today im going to do good.
wish me luck
yikes

im so fucking pathetic
im so damn disgusting
i hate living with people
people who eat all the damn time
and get mad when i dont
i honestly wouldve done so good all weekend had e not made me
today and yesterday were totally my fault
tomorrow taking an adderall from my very dwindling stash to get me on track
ill be good again
i promise


i miss my best friend :(

very excited about my new goal
once I reach 105 I'm cutting my hair like Winona Ryder

:D

Whats eating you?

I don't deserve him.

Reset

I'm starting over. I failed. I'm disgusting. I've done awful. And I drank Saturday. Talk about empty calories.
So starting over. Fasting today.
Yesterday was boyfriends anniversary, we're going out tomorrow.
I'll eat on our date. But nothing else for today and tomorrow. Maybe one more day of fasting. Not sure yet..
Than onto my newest diet:
My college newspaper has a daily horoscope. For each sign, there is a different number each day. It rates how easy your day will be.
I will take that number and times it by 2. Thats how many bites of food I can have that day. If I don't get a paper, I don't get any bites.
It could work..

Boyfriends first basketball game today. Hopefully I'll actually work out before.
Yikes